Answered Prayer.

I passed a woman in town. She appeared to talk to herself and I wondered if she lived in a care home. She said hello as I walked passed and I replied the same. She asked how I was, I said good, how are you? You could hear she didn’t speak English well.

Having done what I needed to do while in town, I wandered back to my car and here’s this same woman, swinging on the children’s swing set at the park. She looked at me and said “Chip.” Still thinking she’s not quite all there (after all she is swinging on the child’s seat in a park), I apologised and said I have no chips.

The woman said “No, chip, chip.” She made what looked to be wave like motions with her hand. In very broken English, she said “Cambodia, chip, I very sick.” I twigged then, oh, ship. “You’re from Cambodia and came by ship.”

“Yes, very sick and sunburn on chip. I sore legs and swing for exercise.” So, she was quite normal, mentally, just poor English. Ahhh, that explains why she’s swinging away on the children’s park set. I asked if I could pray for her. She asked how old I was. I thought she didn’t understand me. I told her I was 60. “Oh, 60. You very good. No pain?” “No, I have no pain,” I replied.

“I pain, lot pain in legs.” Again, I asked if I could pray for her and she agreed, rolling her trousers to her knees. I prayed, just a minute or not even that really. She thanked me for taking the time to listen to her and I went on my merry way. As I was getting into the Ute, I heard; “Hey! Hey, hey!” I looked across the road and here she was, jumping up and down, and running on the spot, arms waving.

“All good, look, all good,” she yelled across the road to me. “No pain, no pain.” To which I replied, “Praise Jesus. How wonderful!”

My adult daughter suddenly came down with an ear infection. She was in so much pain, she was in tears. I prayed and the pain left. I thought all was done. Apparently, while I was praying, in Olivia’s mind, she only asked that the pain go. She wasn’t exactly healed, but wasn’t feeling any discomfort.

Of course, in the meantime, we’d rung the local doctor. Being a Saturday morning, they couldn’t get her in. However, for $150 they could fit her in. They asked what was wrong and she said she had an ear infection. All of a sudden, the fee doubled. They’d see her for $300 at most. (This is a single income family. If $150 was out of the question, $300 was more so.)

I wasn’t there when Olivia made the call, as I was with her young daughters, otherwise I’d have paid for it. Olivia told me about it later. In the meantime, we did some more prayer and she felt ok.

Monday morning came around and Olivia made a regular appointment, without that exorbitant fee. She had no pain, but her ear was still blocked and by now she was vomiting. Not a good sign. Her doctor was mortified and said how serious her condition was. He was perplexed as to why Olivia was feeling no pain.

At the end of the day, a few antibiotics later and all was well. Next time, Olivia will know to pray not just for the pain to go, but to also be healed.

I have to tell you the story about the flies.

Whenever I’m out at our little weekender, my husband and I go for lots of walks. Oftentimes he’d have flies bothering him. He (the non-believer) would be shooing them, cursing at them, swatting them with a branch and I (the believer) would have no flies around me. None at all.

A few times over the years, he asked, “How come they don’t bother you?” My reply was always the same; “Because I’m blessed.” He’s since stopped asking.

Last time I was out there, we were eating dinner. John had all these flies around him and his plate of food. He unloaded half a can of insect spray (ok, maybe not quite half a can), while carefully avoiding spraying the food, but as this is a three-sided shed, they were soon back again. In his frustration, John vehemently blurted out; “Jesus Christ!”

All the flies left.

I laughed. I couldn’t help but point it out; “You can spray the flies all you like, but it wasn’t until you called on the name of Jesus that they left and didn’t come back.”

Gave him pause for thought.

My daughter’s dog got out recently. My daughter called me in a panic. This is a husky pup and doesn’t yet come when called. Plus, she is a bit of an escape artist, able to work out weaknesses in the fence that no one else has yet spotted. The last time Willow escaped, it took two hours to catch her and Olivia lives on a main road. Car horns were tooting and tyres were screeching as Willow darted between the traffic evading capture each time.

So, Olivia called me in a panic and I prayed. I told Liv to leave the front door open and she’ll come back when she’s ready. Olivia was stressed and I mentioned for her to lean into the prayer, trust God and not to worry. Within a few minutes, in waltzed Willow. Not a care in the world.

Fortunately, on this particular day and for the first and only time, Willow actually went up the side lane and not across that busy road. Eventually the fence weaknesses were all mended and all was well.

I feel the need to add another story, for God is the God who answers prayer. My 3-year-old granddaughter got her fingers caught in the cupboard. My daughter had to use some considerable force to open the now jammed door.

Heidi’s little fingers came out bent and at an odd angle. She was, of course, screaming. Big sister was crying because Heidi was so upset. Mother was also crying and trying to comfort the Heidi. I prayed straight away. By now my daughter had taken my granddaughter into her room and was cradling her. I was in my other granddaughter’s bedroom, comforting her, as I prayed for her sister.

I said to Stell, “It’s ok, Heidi’s fine.” I heard the Holy Spirit whisper quietly in my ear; “Stell doesn’t believe you.” So, I rephrased my statement, “Well, she’s not fine but she will be in a minute because I’ve prayed.” As soon as I said that, my daughter piped up from the bedroom; “Oh, look! Heidi’s fingers just straightened out.”

The chaos of the moment soon came to a halt and everyone was happy once again. 

I have many more stories I could tell but I shall stop here. If you wish to see results like these, pray for Jesus to come into your life. He never refuses when asked.

Bitterness.

Bitterness.

Bitterness is an ugly thing and we need to work on eliminating it from our lives. Our job, as Christians, is to be at peace with all men. Stay undefiled by the spirit of bitterness. Do not to let bitterness take root and grow.

Many people have horrific tales to tell; awful things said and done to them. When we focus on those stories there is no liberty – we must forgive. No matter how deep the hurt, we must forgive. The Lord will forgive us our trespass, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Forgiveness of sin isn’t for the other person, it’s for us to better let go and heal, moving forward in the process, eliminating bitterness and hate from our lives. Bitterness and hate bring sickness.

Hebrews 12 has a lot to say on the issue of bitterness and the trouble it causes in one’s life. Perhaps you might take a moment to look this up in your bible and read it for yourself, so you know exactly what’s at stake.

Bitter people can be quite scary, according to Bill Johnson who said in one of his sermons; “The scariest people I’ve ever met, have all been people who carry much bitterness.”

Vices which come through iniquity (heinousness, immorality, evil, injustice, crime, corruption) and unforgiveness, cause a bitterness which destroys life quicker than any other thing. Bitterness swallows the bitter and does nothing to affect the person against whom they are bitter. That person remains unscathed by the bitterness thrown against them.

A tranquil heart is life to the body, whereas bitterness causes a myriad of long-term health issues. We need to work towards having a tranquil heart, forgiving, as God asks us to do. When we do as God asks us, when we extend mercy not blame, showing an act of love and not hate in spite of our pain, we will be victorious. We will be called ‘peacemakers.’ Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, because they will be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:9)

Bitterness is justifiable only to the bitter. We’ve all gone through hardship. Our job now is not to hold on to any resentment. There is reasoning behind resentment, but that doesn’t mean we should cling to it.

Thankfulness insulates against contamination, or stumbling. A thankful heart can eliminate the bitterness in our lives. Even a meal which could possibly hurt you, can be sanctified by prayer in thankfulness. Thankfulness decontaminates a bitter heart. Thankfulness is a fruit. Let it be a favourite fruit of yours.

We’re told not to give place to the devil, or to any influence of the enemy. Bitterness is one of those influences we need to weed out. There are 3 areas that open people up to the demonic; drug abuse - especially hallucinogens - sexual immorality (which continues over time) and bitterness itself. If you’re not a Christian, the devil isn’t too concerned about you. A Christian, on the other hand, is fair game according to the devil and he will take you where he wills.

Bitter people are possessed by the spirit of bitterness, so it’s a spiritual corruption and that corruption can run deep. People have murdered, when in bitterness. Unforgiveness defiles everyone under the influence of the bitter person, including the bitter person themselves. It destroys the vessel it’s in and for this reason we must be mindful.

We ourselves are undeserving of forgiveness and yet He forgave us. How much more should you forgive? We only receive forgiveness according to the forgiveness we meter out to others.

The Lord’s prayer, the very one Jesus taught the disciples, states; “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” Don’t let bitterness take a hold in your life. Forgive. Forgive often. Forgive both large and small hurts.

Make sure you know which side you’re on. We need to know what God loves. God’s anger is aimed at what interferes with love. Be angry and sin not. Anger is natural in certain situations, but don’t let anger lead to sin, to bitterness, to retaliation (which can and has led to murder). Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil (Ephesians 4:26-26).

Your volume increases as your bitterness increases. You begin to shout angrily. The more you talk about your bitterness, the more you reinforce it in your life. Take those bitter words off the table and speak of them no more.

Bitter people are not trustworthy for they are unstable. Commit to live the life of a forgiven and forgiving person. That doesn’t mean what’s been done to you is okay, but you can’t allow yourself to be controlled by bitter thoughts and feelings. Only when you can let go of bitterness can you contribute effectively to society, bringing redemptive solutions.

Staying in bitterness causes you to lose the ability to have a positive effect on the world around you, for even the air surrounding you is tainted with the heaviness of bitterness and people perceive it. You’re akin to a radio, with negative radio waves, impacting the people around you. Those bitter roots can defile people everywhere you go.

If you are bitter and you honestly forgive, your behaviour should be one of peace and not one controlled any longer by the incident. If you’re still feeling angry, you haven’t fully forgiven. Let it go. Move on.

Determine to live as a forgiver. Release people. Refuse to be bound by the actions of other people. You may be frustrated and angry, but you need to go to sleep in peace, so the bitterness doesn’t take root and grow.

Pursue peace as it will transform and sanctify your character. Remember, if your behaviour doesn’t change, you haven’t fully forgiven. Change that radio frequency and send out vibes of peace and joy.

Every problem was slain when you were born again but they can resurface. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. It means letting go of the past and sometimes that means letting go again, if you notice you’ve inadvertently picked that bitterness back up.

Bitterness can be perceived or real. Sometimes the offending party don’t even realise they’ve offended you. You may have misconstrued what was said. You may not, but either way, you’re the one responsible for letting go. Someone else may well have caused it, but still, it’s like a bitter poison to your life in general and visa-versa. If you happen to be the cause of someone else’s bitterness, you need to ask forgiveness if at all possible.

If you hold onto the hurt, it will shape how you view the situation, as our imaginations take us further than we need to go.

Where there are measurable actions; fast, pray, perhaps a phone call to bless and honour, or serve, or give a gift, take those action steps. Come to the place where the hurt doesn’t affect you, because that part of you is dead anyway, for as a born-again believer you should be dead to self.

You need a behaviour change, even if what happened was 20 years ago or longer. You can’t continue doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

If the person is no longer around, bless them anyway, or their family line. Ask God to forgive you, to help you let the issue go and bless the other party. Pray for people who oppose you in some way.

Never criticise another believer of God. You don’t know their story. Pray for whatever they need and give the blessing of the Lord, that they would have children who would serve them with their whole heart.

Stay undefiled, unsullied, unpolluted, by the spirit of bitterness. The world needs righteous people who are not bitter. As you pray for others, try not to pick up the offense – like ministering to the poor and not be offended at the rich. Or a younger generation who doesn’t show respect to their elders.

God cares about all issues. He doesn’t have opinions - He’s right. Simple as that. The enemy doesn’t care about your opinion either, as long as you leave Jesus out of it.

Hebrews 12:12; Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

Hebrews 12:15; See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble and by it many become defiled.

There’s a defiling effect of bitterness on one person to another. God is taking us to a place of love, care and influence. He can only do it if we don’t pick up offences and if you eat of criticism and accusation, you’re being poisoned. Criticism defiles us, bitterness defiles us, thoughts of accusation defile us.

You will manifest when you come around bitterness. It is catching. You’ll feel it. Your peace will leave you. There is no liberty for you outside of forgiveness. Pray for discernment and grace in every environment, including the environment of those who carry bitterness. Don’t allow that environment to permeate through to your soul.

You have to proactively counter bitterness with love and you have to do it purposely. Maintain your awe and respect to the other person. They’re not perfect, but neither are we. Pray aggressively for them and not against them.

There’s a reason the bible says whatever is true and lovely, think on these things. It’s to bring us into the presence of the Loving Father. We cannot afford to be influenced in any way by bitterness. Influence is given only to those who know how to forgive.

Do not give the enemy a place at your table!

On Anger...

There’s a Chinese proverb (one of many) floating around which states; it's better to be silent and thought to be a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. In other words, it’s wise to stay silent, if you’re unsure or don’t know.

The bible also speaks about fools. According to the bible, anger labels you a fool, for the bible mentions fools are quick to anger. Proverbs 29:11 “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.” We all know we should control our temper, but how many of us are doing it?

Better get control of those emotional outbursts, for it shows you to be a fool to the world around you. And while we shouldn’t berate ourselves for having emotions, taking control of our emotions will bring you a more joyous life. Plus, what you don't say, you won't have to apologise for later.

Prolonged anger releases toxic chemicals, elevating blood pressure and cholesterol, as well as increasing your risk of stroke and heart attack. Cortisol is released into the brain during a moment of anger. When cortisol hits the amygdala, it causes you to be unable to read the emotions of others. Cortisol also hits the hippocampus, causing the organ to shrink and this affects short term memory. Besides which, every minute you hold in anger, is a minute less of joy which you could be appreciating.

Learn to control your emotions, or your emotions will control you.

Just as we must control our emotions, we also need to control our energy. Stop wasting energy on things that don’t matter. If in five years it won’t affect you, you don’t need to spend time on it today.

And remember; perfectionism causes perpetual and extreme stress, which also releases toxic chemicals into your body. What if, in pursuit of perfection, we settle for excellent? After all, there’s only ever been one perfect person in the world – Jesus.

Just a little snippet for today.

Leadership Traits.

Leadership Traits.

As the shepherd leads his flock, so too are you to lead those under you.

I’ve put together a few ideas to bring out the best in yourself and in others.

Leadership may not be something you wish to pursue. All leadership does is teach good communication skills. Good communication is essential and beneficial, so even if you don’t want to be a leader, these tips are still useful to know.

Good leadership starts with you. Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are. You will become like the four closest friends around you, so choose your friends wisely. If they drink, you’ll drink. If they smoke, steal or take drugs, you’ll eventually smoke, steal and take drugs. If they’re charitable and volunteer, you’ll eventually do the same. If they create business’s, you’ll too will become a business owner.

You’ve got to have faith in yourself. If you don’t have faith in yourself, no one else will either. If you don’t know how to have faith in yourself; read. There’s plenty of books on building yourself up.

List the things on which you could improve about yourself along with the steps you need to take to get you there. Make sure this list has an action plan, for without action, nothing changes.

Forget about what makes you insecure. Instead, ask yourself what you can do to bring value to someone else. God asks that we be servants to others, so serve. Serve in any capacity you feel able.

Use the 30 second rule whenever possible. Within the first 30 seconds of any conversation say something encouraging to someone. I love your necklace. Gee your hair is pretty. What a beautiful dress. Don’t you look dapper today. Quit searching for ways to make yourself look good. Instead search for ways to make others feel good.

Look for a positive, encouraging thing to say to someone you’ve come in contact with, even if it’s only the person at the cash register, or the bus driver, or the cleaner. Never think you are better than anyone else and remember; everyone is going through something difficult that you know nothing about. Put a smile on your dial and offer a compliment. You’ll never know how much that means to them.

Be attentive, appreciate and affirm those you speak to. We can be so focused on ourselves that we forget the importance of being attentive to others.

You never get ‘there’ on your own. Ask for help from those around you. People love to feel needed. People are waiting to be asked. Ask for input and carefully consider the answer given.

Create a great memory and visit it often. Purposely make joyous memories. Memories that can bring a smile or a laugh upon recall. Create an experience to commemorate an achievement or milestone, one that will be remembered well after the event.

Create memories. Don’t wait for them to happen. Memories are the rivers of joy that we draw from in our latter years. Memories bring joy in the lives of others, each and every time the memory is raised. Laughter lifts a weary soul. Those memories you create will forever be recalled with fondness, in the lives of those you touch.

Admonish a friend in private but praise them in public. If you want to lift others, praise them in front of people. People love to receive praise and they love it more if it’s heard by those around them.

Search for those you can praise. Be authentic. People readily see through insincerity. When you give a compliment, you also give a person wings; the courage to try and keep going.

One of Winston Churchill’s greatest achievements was the way he could inspire others. He inspired, motivated and challenged people and they rallied around him with the belief that they could win the war and they did. Be an inspiration, not a wet rag. Draw out the best from those around you. When you look at an individual, ask yourself; what is their greatest quality? What is unique and wonderful about them? And then tell them so.

If someone thinks you respect them, they’ll go the extra mile for you. They’ll reach for the star that you’ve set up for them and try their hardest to achieve it. Don’t view them as they are. See them as they can be and when you do, they’ll live up to the reputation you’ve given them. What you expect you get, so expect much from them and they’ll give you their best.

If you’re on friendly terms with the person, give them a nickname (just as God and Jesus chose new names for people) that speaks to their potential. It takes approximately 10 years for someone to be great at something. Giving that person a ‘positive’ nickname dramatically reduces the time it takes to become a professional in their field.

Don’t focus on what you want to say. Focus on what the other person needs to hear. If you were in the other person’s shoes what would you like to hear and then tell them so. Saying the right words at the right time could change someone’s life.

People who belittle your ideas, seldom have good ideas of their own.

I believe in you! You should believe in you too. A wrong word can crush a person’s dream. I’m not saying I believe in you just for words sake. If you have a dream, believe in yourself. Give yourself inspiring words, for just as wrong words can crush a dream, right words can inspire the dream to fruition. And if someone thinks well enough of you to tell you their dream, encourage them in it.

Critical people try to talk you out of your dreams because it shows them how far away they are from achieving their own dreams. Don’t be a dream killer, even if the dream seems far-fetched, always encourage. The graveyard is full of lost potential from those who didn’t chase their dreams.

The bible states; where there is no vision the people perish (Proverbs 29:18). People need dreams and visions. Many people are dead from the neck up because they’ve allowed their dream do die. Hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12). Encourage others to keep their dreams alive; it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give someone.

Many will try to discourage dreams. Don’t be one of the many. Encourage others. Offer specific help, for example; what steps do they need to take? What challenges do they think they’ll need to overcome? Affirm the person and the dream and offer to help them get there.

Pass the credit on to others. If anyone has given any ideas that have helped in any way, acknowledge them. Give them thanks, after all, whatever you undertake will require the minds and hands of others to help you fulfil your dream. If you catch someone doing a good deed, thank them for it. Acknowledge their efforts. Write them a note. It’s one thing to say thanks verbally and quite another to have taken the time to write a thank you.

Only say it if you mean it. People quickly see through insincere praise however passing credit boosts moral and has a long-lasting effect, not only on the person receiving the praise but also your own moral.

The difference between winners and losers is preparation. More than just a discipline, preparation is a way of life. The bible states; “Whatever you find to do with your hands, do it with all your might.” (Ecclesiastes 9:10.)

If you’re lax in one area you’re sure to be lax in other areas. Always try to do your best. Don’t be half-hearted; give your all into any endeavour. 

When out for dinner, leave the best seats for other guests. Let them enjoy the view. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to look at the view when it’s just you and your spouse.

When giving a speech, don’t just give a generic speech, write your speech with that company or that person in mind. Look up what they love, what they need and what they’re trying to achieve. Make the speech important to them.

And while you’re at it, why don’t you view everyone as important, not just the people you like. The service attendant who’s rude to you, the teacher you aren’t so keen on, the cleaner, gardener or pool attendent – they all have issues in life and to offer your best makes their day and ensures they feel valued and worthwhile.

Make moments magical for all those around you. If you have a special event, make it memorable, spice it up little. A conversation becomes deeper if you attentively listen. Treat people as important. We are accountable to God. I read somewhere once; Potential is God’s gift to you, what you do with your potential is your gift to God. Time too, is a gift from God. Use your time wisely. Maximise your talents, opportunities and resources. Give all you have and be honest in the process. It will take you far and lead to greater fulfilment.

Virtue is vital. The Oxford dictionary defines virtue as; behaviour showing high moral standards. The old testament speaks of virtue as strength and power. The new testament speaks of virtue as excellence or valour. The summation of the old and the new could be said; as a mighty force and an admirable character. I like the sound of that.

What is virtue, if it isn’t good character and lofty thoughts, a high standard of excellence, as well as high morals and ethics as we strive towards good works, purity and innocence – not an easy task in today’s society. Remembering virtue isn’t perfection, but consistent excellence in all areas of life.

Now we come to the benefit of the doubt. Things go wrong in life. People say hurtful things and others respond but what if it was unintentional? What if you said something and the other person took it in a way you didn’t mean at the time? Perhaps someone intentionally said something hurtful. What do you do now?

Allow the person to put their point of view across and give them the benefit of the doubt. Could this work against you? Yes, sometimes. Not everyone has pure intent. But more often than not, most people aren’t out to upset others. Try mediating between parties and offer the forgive and forget on both sides of the argument, especially if you don’t know who is telling the truth.

People view things differently. It doesn’t always mean one person is right and one wrong. Find a common ground and try to smooth things over as best you can. When you give the benefit of the doubt, people are more likely to return as they’ll see you don’t take sides or show favouritism. We all have good and bad days, we’re human after all and that brings fallibility and shortcomings. Recall the good and move forward.

To be a good leader means to brainstorm strategies and concepts. In moving forward, pick the best idea and remember; there’s no bad ideas, just better ideas. Chose the best idea that was thrown into the ring during the brainstorm session and test it to see if it will fly. Allow for error. Allow room to change. Allow others to have input. See the big picture and look to the long-term. Don’t try to take shortcuts.

What is the big picture? People. Advancement. Working harmoniously. People need to feel worthwhile and not a number. People want to move ahead and not be stuck in a corner and this is best achieved when everyone works harmoniously together. Success isn’t about what you gain in life, it’s about how much you serve others with a joyous heart.

Here’s a challenge for you; call an individual and dedicate the product, game, prize to them. Give them a portion of what you’re trying to achieve. It helps push you to win. Serving others cultivates health and happiness. And the bonus is, when you help others, you’re helping yourself. It frees you of competitiveness and jealousy.

Stoop down and lift another up. Do for them what they can’t do for themselves. Whatever you’ve been given, share it. With an abundant mind-set, you’ll never worry about running out. It doesn’t matter how much or how little you have, give. Give knowledge. Give a dollar if that’s all you have. Give a meal. Give a smile, give a compliment – it costs nothing.

Make business contacts and introduce those contacts to others. Introduce young people to their hero’s. (Yes, you might have to wait until you’re a little older but keep it in mind.) Some of my most memorable vacations were one’s friends had bestowed upon me at a time when I could never have afforded it. I still treasure those memories today.

Every product and service begin with an idea. Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises. Brainstorm ideas. Test concepts. Often great ideas are ideas that you’ve never thought up yourself, but those that others come to you with.

Ideas create new ideas. The more ideas you give away, the more you seem to create new ideas. Creativity and generosity seem to partner well together. Often, we need help. Often, we can help others. Lift another by helping in any way you can, for what you do for someone else will be repaid back to you.

Be an attentive listener but also try to sense what is unsaid, what people are feeling as they speak to you. Don’t steamroll over people in trying to win an argument, hurting people along the way. Listen attentively. See the value in the other person’s viewpoint. If you listen well, you’ll pick up clues that will tell you what the other person is really saying.

Don’t forget about the person behind the idea that’s being communicated. Impatient people are often poor listeners. Take time to pause. Slow down and put the other person ahead of your impatience.

Barriers to listening are distractions such as phones, tv, emails but also holding on to a defensive position, closemindedness, assumptions and pride. Be open and willing to listen, setting aside all distractions and preconceive ideas.

Get to know those entrusted into your care. They all have dreams and visions for their lives, just as you do. Understand what those dreams are. Can you help in any way? Maybe those dreams and visions take them away from your company. Aid them anyway. Help them reach their greatest potential.

Listen respectfully. Listen with the intention of understanding. Take time to hear the other person’s point of view while at the same time putting across your own point of view. Discuss, don’t argue.

The message might be the same for everyone, but everyone will hear the message differently. This is because we’re all unique. We each focus on different things. Learn what’s important to each person you talk to.

Ask about their family; wife, children, grown up children and grandchildren. Ask what they’ve been doing, what they enjoy – communicate - and then get down to business. Don’t forget the people in your own life. What are they up to, what do they like, what challenges are they facing that you can help with?

There are a few questions which will get you to the heart of the people more rapidly. What are you dreams? What makes you cry? What do you value and what is your strength? Don’t rapid fire, take time to talk. You may not get all the answers in one sitting. Be strategic and intentional. Jot their answers as soon as you can and refer back to them before meeting the person the next time, so you know birthdays, the names of the children, likes and dislikes. It helps the person feel worthwhile that you’ve remembered these important areas of their life.

When you connect with someone, find common ground; something you both like. Or perhaps you have children the same age. Or play the same sport. If you find you can’t view things in the same way, be sure you can articulate what you’re trying to say.

As people mature, their dreams might change. Don’t expect the same answers to the earlier questions. Keep in continual communication. Is it time consuming? Yes. This is a lifestyle, not a moment in time. With a servant heart and attitude, it is going to take your time. Be efficient with your time. Don’t waste it. Act with integrity at all times and never try to manipulate someone.

Offering to help others is a winning strategy. Even if you just lift someone’s luggage onto the plane/train, or offer to carry the shopping for the mother of three children, or the elderly man. It’s consistently putting forward that servant heart that reaps blessings. Ensure helping others is part of your agenda. Always leave time to help and don’t offer help if you’re not going to follow through.

Value people. People want to be appreciated not impressed. Consistently learn to add value to your own life. Learn a new skill. Gain experience in a new area. Study personal growth. When you improve, you’re better able to improve those around you.

Ask others to tell you their story. This allows them to speak of their dreams, successes, failures, loves and losses. This is where connection begins. Then remember the story you’re told. Repeat it to others and the person who told you the story will feel special. Three simple steps; ask, listen, remember.

People love a good story. Stories stick. Principles fade. So, tell a story but don’t lie. If it’s a story about something that happened, make it interesting but keep it true. A good story comes across as enthusiastic, animated, humorous, and personal. He who tells the best story, holds the greatest attention in the room. The idea isn’t to impress but connect.

A story from the heart, even if sad, can change someone’s life if you add steps on how to move beyond. And if you’re going to tell a story; be bold. Timidity puts people off.

Memorise people’s names; it encourages them and helps them feel important. It also enlarges their view of you. Even the local store owner, or postie. Get to know them and remember their names. How do you remember a name? Repeat it in your head three times. Perhaps ask how it’s spelt (thus reinforcing the name to you). View the person’s most dominant feature. This will aid with recall later. And end the conversation by stating the name. Go easy on yourself if you forget. It’s not the end of the world.

Focus on people’s strengths, yourself included. It doesn’t add any value to point out weakness. Look for the best in others. Lift people up by letting them know you believe in them. Tell them. If you don’t say it, how will they know it.

Take the time to hand write a note to someone, something encouraging, something which points to their strengths, value and worth. Personal touch carries great meaning. The price of a hand written letter of encouragement cannot be understated, especially in today’s fast track world.

Help another person to win. Holding great expectations for the other person is a good place to start. When a person knows you believe in them, they’ll do their best to live up to your expectations. “Hope” is one of the most powerful words you can carry and give. Hope gives a person the power to keep fighting.

Wins are only satisfying when you work for them. The greater the task, the greater the feel of accomplishment. Your job is to lift others to ensure they reach the pinnacle.

Teach what you learn, encourage others, give of yourself and do your best. A good life isn’t in the absence of problems but the ability to push past those problems. Practice until you master and help others along the way.