It's a little bit personal, but I hope it helps

It’s a little bit personal…

 

I was 34, when I first heard about positive thinking. I read everything I could on it, for the next 2 years, then that “Still Small Voice” in my head asked; what have all these books got in common? I thought for a moment and then said; a belief in a higher power, a greater consciousness, God. It was there that I recommitted to being a Christian and walked my new path, with God. 

At the time, working towards my ideal day which I now had written down, all I had was a vague idea: I wanted to lose weight and gain money. I didn’t have any particular idea how much weight, or how much money, or how I was going to do it, because I know I’d tried and failed so many times and now ‘fear’ kept me at bay. Fear was stopping me from doing so much, because everything I’d done thus far had failed and I couldn’t bear to fail again.

Still I pressed on, because I was so depressed, I didn’t like the alternative. It took a while to work out what my ‘ideal day’ would look like. Within that first 2 years, while reading over 200 books on positive thinking, I decided I wanted to trade and write and to do it while traveling. 

Since then, I have done this and travelled, mostly close to home, but for me, even that was something and although I’m not making enough money to stop work altogether (I work part time in disabilities and full time as an author), I can still trade, write and travel, as I go to John’s and Olivia’s, or even for a trip to the beach for the day.

The idea was evolving all the time and I finally lost a heap of weight, however I got to a point where nothing I did would lose any further weight.

Initially I hit the hundred kilo mark and thought, if I don’t stop it now, it will become 110, 120, etc. And I lost 25 kilos, then put 10 back on and stayed there for the next 10 years, hitting a low and bouncing back up again, but never quite hitting the mark, staying there, or getting under it. 

Now, I’ve found a weight loss system which is working for me and I’m finally making new lows. I would like to lose another 4 kilos, and then see how I feel. Perhaps I’ll try for 5 more, perhaps I’ll be happy where I’m at. 

With a couple of dozen books now published, my weight coming down and my savings going up, (and with no real idea of where to stop with my savings), I finally feel somewhat successful. I make consistent money trading and I never tire of that. It’s fun. I expect to hit my targets by August next year and if that appears to be a long way off, I’m pacing myself, to do it comfortably. 

I’ve made a lot of changes to my diet over the years and am pleased to have not gained weight, but it’s been an elusive mark, to lose just that final 4 kilos. Right now, I feel it’s going to happen and that’s a bit exciting. It’s taken a lot of ‘tweaking’, but I think I’ve got it worked out now and I am seeing those final few kilos coming down.

In thinking about that, I’ve tentatively marked the spot on the calendar…as I said, August next year I should have hit my goal weight and have a nice sum of money in the bank. It’s been a long slow haul and at times, incredibly frustrating, but this is the first time I can actually see myself there. 

With a couple of dozen books on Amazon, I can now really see and believe in myself as an author. I can now see success as an author and as a trader and that’s exciting.

I’ve had a lot of fun along the way. Had some great experiences, as well as difficult days, but I’m pleased to say; I have way more great days (ideal days, the ideal day that I wrote I’d like to live, all those years ago) than difficult ones and that’s something I can be proud of. 

I’m thrilled with my new book; I Think I Have Fairies In My Garden. I’m really pleased with how trading is going. I’m excited to be hitting new lows, with weight loss and new highs with dollars in the bank. By Jove; I think I’m going to make it!!!

Probably the hardest part initially, was all the books on positive thinking said people were making it after 2 years. As the years and years ticked over, I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with me. It’s hard to have confidence in oneself, when one isn’t getting the results everyone else seems to get, in the time frame everyone else seems to be getting them. Perhaps that says something about how low I was, how much I had to work through, and how deeply rooted Satan was in my life, before I could see positive results.

Would I have gone ahead with it all, knowing it would take this long? Probably, because the alternative for me was dire, as I was suicidal way back then (it’s been 20 years). And all the ‘fun’ parts along the way, have made the whole thing worthwhile, in spite of how long it’s taken.

Now, if anyone asks what I do, I can proudly say I’m an author. I used to say it, without much conviction, now I can say it in truth. 

I am an author, who also trades commodities and currency on the stock exchange!

If you’re working towards something, which appears out of reach to you at this time; don’t quit. Hang in there. Hang in there, in spite of the difficulties and dramas and one day you too, will see the success you desire.